You’re not broken. You’re human. Let’s steady the ground under your feet—one honest step at a time.

Let’s start here, lovely: doubt doesn’t mean you’ve failed.

It doesn’t mean you’re “not faithful enough”. And it definitely doesn’t mean you’re not welcome in spiritual spaces.

Sometimes doubt is simply your heart saying, “I’ve been carrying a lot. I need a gentler way to hold this.”

Midlife has a way of shaking the snow globe, doesn’t it? One minute you’re managing life reasonably well, and the next… you’re questioning everything you thought you believed about marriage, motherhood, ageing, grief, the state of the world, your body, your future, your place in it all. And if faith is part of your world (even a small part), those questions can spill into your spiritual life too.

So let’s talk about it—without shame, without pressure, and without pretending.

Why doubt shows up in midlife (and why that’s not a bad thing)

Doubt often arrives when your life experiences outgrow your old “answers”.

Common midlife triggers for spiritual wobbles

• Loss or grief (a parent, a friendship, your health, a dream)

• Caregiving fatigue (for parents, grandkids, partners, everyone but you)

• Marriage strain or loneliness

• Empty nest identity shifts

• Menopause and the emotional rollercoaster (yes, it’s real)

• Church hurt or community disappointment

• A long season of “doing everything right” and still feeling… tired

Here’s the reframe: doubt can be an invitation to deepen, not a sentence to “try harder”.

If you’re thinking, “But Di, I feel guilty even admitting it,” then you’re exactly who this post is for.

The difference between doubt and disengaging

Doubt says: “I have questions.”
Disengaging says: “I can’t care anymore.”

Doubt still cares. Doubt is still reaching. Doubt is still alive.

And honestly? Many women I’ve spoken to carry doubt quietly for years because they’re scared someone will label them as “too much”, “not spiritual enough”, or “backsliding”.

Nope. Not here.

Step 1: Name the doubt (gently, not dramatically)

Grab a cuppa and finish this sentence:

“Right now, I’m struggling with…”

Examples:

• “…how God could allow suffering.”

• “…whether prayer makes a difference.”

• “…why I feel numb during worship.”

• “…why I feel abandoned.”

• “…why I’m angry.”

Now the important part: name it without judging it.

Not: “I shouldn’t feel this.”
But: “This is what I’m carrying.”

That tiny switch is powerful.

Step 2: Work out what your doubt is really about

Sometimes doubt isn’t about faith at all—it’s about exhaustion.

Ask yourself:

• Am I doubting… or am I depleted?

• Am I questioning… or am I grieving?

• Am I “spiritually off”… or am I emotionally flooded?

Midlife women are pros at pushing through. We can do hard things. We can hold everyone together with a safety pin and a prayer.

But pushing through isn’t the same as healing.

Step 3: Make space for “both/and” faith

One of the most healing things you can do is allow two truths at once.

• I’m struggling… and I’m still here.

• I’m angry… and I still long for peace.

• I don’t understand… and I want to stay open.

If faith is part of your world, one of the most honest prayers in Scripture is basically:
“I believe; help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24)

Not polished. Not impressive. Just real.

Step 4: Borrow faith when yours feels low

This is a big one, love.

When you can’t hold hope, you can borrow it:

• from a trusted friend who won’t lecture you

• from a gentle podcast

• from a steady church community (if you have one)

• from a devotional that doesn’t shame you

• from nature, stillness, music, art

• from remembering the version of you who did feel strong once

Borrowing isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom.

Step 5: Create a “no-pressure” reconnection practice

Let’s make this ridiculously doable.

The 5-minute “steady me” practice

1. Hand on heart, breathe slow (30 seconds)

2. Say: “I’m safe enough in this moment.”

3. Ask one gentle question:

   • “What do I need today?”

   • “What am I carrying that isn’t mine to carry?”

   • “What’s one tiny step toward peace?”

4. If prayer is part of your world:

   • “God, if You’re near, steady me.”

5. End with one small action: water, walk, text a friend, step outside.

No big spiritual performance. Just a tiny return.

Step 6: Stop arguing with your soul online

I’m going to say this with love: doomscrolling is not spiritual formation.

If your feeds leave you angry, reactive, fearful, or constantly “on edge”, it’s not surprising your faith feels wobbly.

Try a simple boundary:

• No heavy content before 9am

• No debates before bed

• Replace 10 minutes of scrolling with 10 minutes of calm music or quiet

Your nervous system matters. Your spirit lives inside that nervous system.

Step 7: Find a safe place to process (not a loud place to perform)

You need safe people, not “perfect” people.

Look for someone who:

• listens without fixing

• doesn’t panic at questions

• doesn’t shame you for feeling what you feel

• can hold nuance (midlife women are nuanced, thank you very much)

If you don’t have that person yet, start with a journal.

Journal prompts for wobbly-faith days

• What happened that made me feel unsteady?

• What am I afraid might be true?

• What do I still hope is true?

• What do I need to forgive (including myself)?

• What would I say to a friend who felt this way?

A gentle prayer for doubt (optional)

If faith is part of your world, here’s a simple prayer you can borrow:

“God, I don’t have fancy words today.
I’m tired. I’m confused. I’m carrying more than I can hold.
If You’re near, meet me in the mess.
Give me one small step toward peace.
And help me trust that my questions don’t scare You.
Amen.”

What to do when doubt won’t leave quickly

Sometimes doubt lingers. That’s okay.

Think of it like rehab after an injury. You don’t sprint on day one. You strengthen slowly.

Tiny signs you’re healing

• you’re less harsh on yourself

• you can sit in quiet without spiralling

• you feel small moments of peace again

• you stop forcing “perfect faith” and start choosing honest faith

That’s renewal, love. Quiet, steady renewal.

Closing Notes (with a gentle nudge)

If you’re in a wobbly season, I want you to remember this:

You are not disqualified. You are not alone. You are not failing.

You’re a midlife woman with a tender heart and a lot on your plate—learning to hold life with honesty.

If you’d like to keep going, pop over to another WYRLORA post on renewal and rest, join the WYRLORA Circle, or subscribe to WL Message for gentle encouragement that feels like a warm cuppa and a steady hand.

Until we chat again,

Blessing & hugs to you my dear friend,

Dianne xx