A gentle, realistic way to practise gratitude without forcing positivity — especially when you’re carrying too much.

Some days in midlife are lovely.

And some days feel like you’re trying to walk through wet cement while someone shouts a to-do list at your face.

On those heavy days, typical gratitude prompts can feel… irritating.
Like putting a bow on a broken washing machine and calling it “festive”.

So, let’s do gratitude properly:

• not forced

• not fake

• not guilt-based

This is a Hard Day Gratitude Method — built for anxiety spirals, burnout fog, and overwhelm. It’s also trauma-aware in this sense: it does not ask you to pretend. It asks you to anchor.

(And if you’re dealing with severe anxiety or depression, please consider professional support too — journaling is a tool, not a replacement.)

A quick science note (kept honest)

Large research reviews generally suggest gratitude interventions can produce small improvements in wellbeing, though outcomes vary by person, format, and follow-up.

So, we’re not promising a miracle. We’re building a method that helps you cope with more steadiness.

The Hard Day Method: Truth + Tiny Thanks + Next Right Thing

You need one page.

Draw three simple headings:

1) TRUTH (2 minutes)

Write what’s true, without fixing it.

Use one of these starters:

• “Right now, I feel…”

• “The hardest part of today is…”

• “What I’m carrying is…”

Keep it real but keep it short. You’re not trying to re-traumatise yourself by reliving everything in detail — you’re naming it.

Example:

• “I feel wired and tired.”

• “I’m overwhelmed by everyone needing something from me.”

• “I’m scared about my health.”

2) TINY THANKS (2 minutes)

Now we move to gratitude — but we do it with integrity.

Write three tiny thanks that don’t deny your truth.

Options:

• A comfort (tea, shower, warm socks)

• A support (one kind person, one helpful message)

• A mercy (a break, a breath, a moment of quiet)

Example:

• “Tiny thanks: the warm water in the shower.”

• “Tiny thanks: my friend who didn’t try to fix me — just listened.”

• “Tiny thanks: the tree outside the window, still standing.”

On heavy days, “tiny” is not pathetic. It’s powerful. It’s how your nervous system learns, “I am safe enough to keep going.”

3) NEXT RIGHT THING (2 minutes)

Overwhelm says: “Do everything, now.”

We don’t listen.

Write one sentence:

• “The next right thing is…”

Examples:

• “The next right thing is to eat something with protein.”

• “The next right thing is to send one email, not ten.”

• “The next right thing is to go outside for five minutes.”

• “The next right thing is to apologise for that sharp tone and repair.”

Then stop. That’s your plan.

Extra: The “If faith is part of your life” line (30 seconds)

Add one optional line:

• “God, meet me here.”

• “God, hold what I can’t.”

• “God, thank You for one small mercy.”

No pressure. No performance.

Why this works (in real-life terms)

Because you’re doing three important things:

• Naming (truth calms the chaos)

• Noticing (tiny thanks trains attention without denial)

• Narrowing (one next step reduces overwhelm)

This method is also flexible — you can do it in:

• 6 minutes

• 3 minutes (one line each)

• 60 seconds (one tiny thanks + one next step)

15 “Hard Day” prompts (gentle, not annoying)

Truth prompts

• What am I worried about — and what part is within my control?

• What do I need today that I’m not giving myself?

• What boundary would help me breathe?

Tiny thanks prompts

• What was one moment of relief today?

• Who or what supported me, even a little?

• What did my body do for me today?

Next right thing prompts

• What’s the smallest step that would help future-me?

• What can wait until tomorrow without the world ending?

• What would I tell my best friend to do next, if she felt like this?

When gratitude feels impossible

If you can’t find anything to be grateful for, do neutral noticing:

• “I notice the pillow is soft.”

• “I notice the air is cooler tonight.”

• “I notice I’m still here.”

That’s enough.

And if you’ve had trauma, grief, or ongoing stress, sometimes “gratitude” language can feel unsafe or invalidating. You’re not broken. You’re protecting your heart. Start with neutral noticing and build gently.

A midlife permission slip

You are allowed to have hard days.

You are allowed to feel heavy.

And you are allowed to practise gratitude in a way that honours your reality — not erases it.

If this post helped, keep exploring WYRLORA for more faith-positive, real-life midlife support — and be sure to join the WYRLORA Circle so you’ve got sisterly encouragement on the days you don’t feel strong.

Until we chat again,

Blessing & hugs to you my dear friend,

Dianne xx