Because you’re not a fraud. You’re a woman in transition — and transitions mess with confidence.

If you’ve ever thought:

• “Any minute now they’ll realise I’ve got no idea what I’m doing.”

• “I’m not as capable as everyone thinks.”

• “I’ve just been lucky.”

• “I’m too old to start something new.”

Welcome to the very annoying club called imposter syndrome.

The term “imposter phenomenon” was described in research on high-achieving women decades ago — women who were objectively competent but internally felt like frauds.
So, if this is hitting you now, please hear me: you’re not strange. You’re not alone. And you’re definitely not “behind”.

Let’s talk about why it can flare in midlife — and what to do about it.

What imposter syndrome looks like in midlife (it’s sneakier than you think)

It can sound like:

• “I shouldn’t apply — they’ll pick someone younger.”

• “I can’t start that business — who am I to think I can?”

• “I’ll look silly.”

• “I used to be confident… what happened to me?”

And it can show up as:

• over-preparing

• avoiding visibility

• staying “small” to stay safe

• perfectionism

• procrastination

• people-pleasing (yep, best friends)

Why it often hits harder in midlife

1) Your body and brain may be under pressure

Perimenopause/menopause can affect mood, confidence, and self-esteem.
If you feel foggy or emotionally flat at times, your brain may interpret that as “I’m failing” — when really, you’re navigating a hormonal shift + life load.

2) You’re being asked to evolve

Midlife often comes with reinvention:

• kids needing you differently

• work changing

• caring responsibilities

• relationship shifts

• the inner nudge that says, “There’s more.”

Growth triggers imposter feelings because you’re stepping outside what’s familiar.

3) You have more to lose (or so it feels)

When you’re 25, you’ll try things and bounce back.
When you’re 52, you might think, “I can’t afford to get this wrong.”

But here’s the truth: you can’t afford to stay stuck either.

The “Quiet It For Good” Framework (practical + powerful)

Step 1: Name it out loud

The fastest way to shrink imposter syndrome is to call it what it is.

Try:

• “This is imposter talk.”

• “This is fear — not truth.”

• “This is my brain trying to keep me safe.”

When you name it, you stop obeying it.

Step 2: Separate feelings from facts

Feelings are real. They’re just not always accurate.

Do a two-column list:

FEELING: “I’m not qualified.”
FACT: “I’ve done this for 20 years.” / “I’ve trained.” / “I’ve solved harder problems than this.”

Imposter syndrome hates receipts. So, give yourself receipts.

Step 3: Build a “Competence Inventory”

Write down:

• skills you’ve earned

• problems you’ve solved

• people you’ve helped

• outcomes you’ve achieved

• hard seasons you survived

Midlife women forget their power because they’ve been too busy being useful.

Let’s correct that.

Step 4: Stop waiting to “feel ready”

Here’s the cheeky truth: ready is not a feeling. Ready is a decision.

If you wait for confidence, you’ll stay stuck.
If you take action, confidence shows up.

Choose one:

• apply

• pitch

• publish

• enrol

• speak

• start

Not perfectly. Just honestly.

Step 5: Create “exposure steps” (so your nervous system catches up)

If visibility scares you, don’t leap — climb.

Example ladder:

1. share an idea with a friend

2. comment in a group

3. post something small

4. ask a question in a meeting

5. lead a short segment

6. do the bigger thing

Confidence is nervous-system training.

Step 6: Replace perfectionism with standards

Perfectionism says: “If I can’t do it flawlessly, I won’t do it.”

Standards say:

• “I will do it well enough to serve the goal.”

• “I can improve as I go.”

• “Progress counts.”

Perfectionism is fear dressed up as “high standards”.

We’re not doing that anymore.

Step 7: Use the “Older = Stronger” reframe

Midlife is not a liability — it’s an advantage.

You have:

• lived experience

• discernment

• grit

• perspective

• emotional intelligence

• problem-solving depth

Don’t let a youth-obsessed culture convince you your value expired at 35. (Absolutely not.)

If you’re faith-minded (optional, never pushy)

If you’re faith-minded, you might find comfort in this:
You don’t need to “prove” your worth to deserve space in the room.

A simple breath prayer (optional):
“Inhale: I am equipped.
Exhale: I will be brave.”

When to get extra support (because strength includes help)

If imposter feelings are tangled with anxiety, low mood, or overwhelm — especially during perimenopause/menopause — it’s okay to talk with a GP or therapist. Mental health symptoms during this season are common, and you deserve support.

You’re not an imposter — you’re expanding

Imposter syndrome is often a sign you’re stretching into something bigger than the old version of you.

So let it be a signal:

• not “I should stop”

• but “I’m growing”

And if you want a next step, go read the people-pleasing post again — because boundaries and imposter syndrome often travel together.

Until we chat again,

Blessing & hugs to you my dear friend,

Dianne xx